Zombies, Again?!?

Yes, I know my last post was on the undead and another post was mainly about the Zombie Survival Guide by Max Brooks, but I have not actually covered the true range of my zombie obsession. Since I have been tweeting a lot about zombies recently and have just started following some new zombie related tweeters, I figure might as well dive deeper into the subject.

Scary isn't it?

We go day by day about our lives with the impression that tomorrow will be the same. But with diseases such as swine flu,
pneumonia, tuberculosis, malaria, measles and HIV/AIDS being super contagious, is it really a stretch to believe a single bacteria/virus can bring about the destruction of humanity?

Zombies can be more than just a bacterial or viral disease. Who's to say, if it happens, it isn't the wrath of God? (Please note, I am not being sacrilegious, I am merely providing a theory) Anyone who has read Revelation knows we'll face demons during the trial and tribulations during the end of days. We also know from scripture that the world as we know it will be destroyed by fire. Who's to say I'm wrong when I say that MAYBE when "the dead in Christ rise" only their spirits will continue on to Heaven leaving their bodies here to be controlled by demons as zombies? The world ending by fire could be the governments left standing sending nukes to blast all the zombies, and thus bringing about man kind's destruction. Remember, the Bible was written my Earthly men thousands of years ago, using symbolism that people of that time understood.

Now that we have only two out of the hundreds of "how will it happen" theories out of the way, I'm going to tell you how to spot a zombie. Whether you call them walkers, roamers, undead, living dead, ghouls, biters, infected, zombi, walking dead, zed heads, z's, hoards, or whatever you want to call them, a zombie is a zombie. I'm not talking about the Voodoo zombi, I'm talking about a true, eat you alive, moaning, groaning, uncoordinated, moving, hungry dead body. They can't speak, can't run (despite what newer zombie theorist say) and are fairly stupid. They usually appear somewhat gray and almost always have huge gaping wounds that will not actually bleed. If you come in contact with infected blood, in your eye, mouth, an open cut or any other opening to the skin (via bite or scratch), YOU WILL BE INFECTED. Do not eat zombie flesh even if cooked. It is a sure fire way to die. The only cure is to break the brain's connection with the body. One of the nicest things my hub and I say to each other is, "If you become infected, I'll take you out." (I know weird to some but totally sweet to us.)

On to protection. Do not travel at night, make sure all exits and entrances are secure but have an escape plan in mind. Since these are not widely available:

And we don't have this hanging up anywhere:

And this is only a dream for us:

I'll have to stick to the big hunk of wood that is on our front porch, right by the door:

(Yes, that is my hand holding that up on our front porch. No, it was not placed there just in case of zombies, but at least we're prepared!) Axes, tire irons, broken dining room table legs, sledgehammers, blades, guns, chainsaws, crossbows, bats, golf clubs, cricket bats and pretty much any blunt object will help save your tail!

Just remember, keep an eye out at all times, because if Shaun of the Dead taught us anything, outbreaks can start with no warning while you go through your daily life. That, and we're not Chuck Norris!

Disclaimer: No person, thing, book, show, movie or zombie mentioned in this post in any way, shape, or form, asked me to write this or gave me any compensation to write this. I jacked all images ('cept for the big piece of wood on my porch) from Google image search and just assumed they fell under the Public Domain Usage thingy. Please don't sue, I'm broke anyways. I just wanted to share my zombie obsession with Bloggywood! While I was not offered anything to write this, I will be more than happy to receive any swag you may want to send my way.
Chuck Norris, please don't use your beard fist on me if you were offended. You scare me more than the undead does…

- Whether you love me or hate me, you know who I am.

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